Memoirs of an Addict Pt. X

When I was fourteen Betty introduced me to Vicodin, as a child with no identity, little self-worth, and a propensity towards addictive tendencies this was single-handedly the most destructive piece of my story.  Over the years I grew to resent her, blame her even, for fueling my suffering and addiction. I’m certain there are people close to me still hold this belief however it is important to understand the context before making accusations of malice. You need to understand Betty’s story, the story of my family, to fully comprehend my story.  Betty grew up in an orphanage under a set of, particularly cruel circumstances. She was born the third child after two brothers and her parents decided they didn’t want her. Out of her parent’s union, she was the only child put up for adoption furthermore her father had another child, a daughter, after my grandmother. I firmly believe her intentions were always pure, I don’t think she ever really had an opportunity to develop the mental capacity of a normal adult due to her lack of emotional/family support at a young age.  At the age of 15, she left the orphanage to marry my Grandfather, 27 at the time, and on his second marriage. The couple couldn’t wed legally in Michigan so they got hitched in Indiana. It’s fascinating how shifting one’s perspective can provide both answers and a sense of peace. Our understanding of what’s right and what’s wrong begin to erode. There is simply what happened, what is, and what’s next. Was it wrong for an adult to give narcotics to a 14-year-old? Absolutely, if you’re looking strictly through a Consequentialist lens. I’ve always been intelligent, as a fourteen-year-old with low confidence and self-esteem coming from a dysfunctional broken home I became a master of manipulation as a means to adapt.

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Going a step farther I would encourage anyone to analyze their family as a unit. Look for tendencies based on birth order and trends. Take my mums choice in partners and look at the similarities between my dad and Ken. They appear diametrically opposed at surface level, however, both were the youngest of three children, with alcoholic fathers and were likely coddled though that could be debated.

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