This podcast was conducted in April, yet I have been hesitant about publishing it. I started this project in January as a means to further the discussion on addiction. In April my brother Pete decided to enter a drug rehab program for heroin. This interview was done the night before he would leave. We’ve decided to release the content for the purpose of showing just how strong a hold drugs can have on someone, even after they recognize the problem. The conversation is tense. We touch on a variety of topics from the experiencing rehab to Pete opening up about going back to drugs following the death of our grandmother:
You get to a point where it’s just like, you know, I can’t do this. I’m killing myself, I’m killing my family, I can’t. I can’t be a slave to this drug anymore… The last couple of weeks have just been hellish. Borrowing money from my boss and shit like that, and just being in a hole at the bank, and that’s after getting $10,000 and pissing it away within a matter of two months. it’s just been a shit show and it’s time. So, I’m very optimistic and I’m very confident that this will be my last go-around.
Up to this point I haven’t told anyone my primary motive for the project was an attempt to make amends with my brother. I was the source of his addiction, the one who introduced him to drugs, and this is my effort to right that wrong. We talk hope, optimism for the future, the importance of a support system, and the blessing that is a supportive family.
You wake up and you feel, okay you have good days and bad days, but you don’t have to worry about, you know, finding a fix in order to not feel sick. If I don’t get this, I’m not gonna fucking be able to go to work. So yeah, it looks like a future. There’s hope in… it doesn’t have to be my life, I can, I’m young enough. We’re young enough where we can still make this change and go on with it.